This device never fails. I can sit on my butt and write code for hours on end, and my phone will not ring once. As soon as I get up out of my chair, whether to get some coffee, pee, or get something off of the printer, there it is. The phone starts ringing. I used to try to answer it, but determined that this was futile. Apparently the ass-chair sensor has a proximity device that makes the phone stop ringing if I get too close.
I'm pretty sure my boss installed this thing in my chair to harrass me. If I can reverse the polarity of the sensor (something easily done in many Star Trek episodes), maybe I can make it work in my favor. For instance, whenever I get out of the chair, the sensor could change my voice mail message to say "Hi! Marty's ass isn't in his chair right now, but please leave a message, and as soon as they are back in the chair, Marty and his ass will return your call."
Anyway, if you call me at the office and get my voice mail, rest assured that I'm not screening my calls. My ass is actually someplace else.